Hello My Fellow Travelers!
It feels as if I’ve been in a cocoon for many seasons. This whole cycle of caterpillar-to-butterfly has been a theme throughout my life (14-year old me got a tattoo to prove it ) but this last cocoon phase was a doozy. Telling friends I just felt like goo; no idea who I am because it’s certainly not who I was just a short time ago, and no idea where I’m headed because how does a pile of goo make plans. Just a stuck, gooey mess.
Then, by chance, I came across a description of the caterpillar’s experience: basically, the caterpillar lives its short life cruising around, munching on leaves, then finally settling on a place to start spinning itself into a cocoon. It has no idea that it is wrapping itself up for the long slumber of death. Once in that cocoon, the caterpillar completely turns to, you guessed it, goo! Every cell that was “caterpillar” disintegrates into a soup and only then do those cells start rearranging themselves to become “butterfly”. Isn’t that incredible? I just took for granted that the little worm would grow wings, but it actually has to completely break down to take its final form using just a few solid parts that survived the soup. This process is called metamorphosis.
Humans have their own version of metamorphosis, constantly (hopefully) evolving and growing. Casting aside the people, places and habits that no longer serve the newer versions of ourselves. Sometimes we get stuck in the place between.
Now I will share with you a secret weapon, a rudder, for staying the course when it feels like some years just bring all the suck.
Since I was 14, I’ve been tracking my personal year. A practice in numerology that outlines the trend of events for the entire year based on the numeric influence on the rhythm of time. We live in a mathematical Universe after all. Woo-woo! Life is constantly going through cycles and each year brings with it a certain wave of energy that can support our plans for flight or encourage us to stay put a little while longer.
What better time to check in than the beginning of a new year. The first step to feeling this wave of energy is to calculate your personal year.
There are deeper rabbit holes to travel but knowing your personal year is a great place to start and a wonderful prompt for intention setting. When mapping out a 5 or 10 year plan, its easier to break it down into smaller goals. Lining those up with the underlying energy of each year ensures you’re prioritizing the goals that flow. This way we won’t beat ourselves up for not conquering the world in a 2 year (a year more favorable for rest and rejuvenation, not world domination).
Note: This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give world domination a shot, just that catching a wave is all about timing. If you’ve ever felt the pull of the ocean, you know there is a force that will propel you so long as you’re positioned and committed to paddling your ass off. Being aware of the energy propelling a year is a bit like scanning the waves to ride the perfect set.
2019 was a 4 personal year for me. A year resonating with building a foundation for the future – via vision, prioritizing, limitation, restriction, determination, effort, and breakthrough (finally). How did that show up for me? Normally I am a planner and go-getter but I was totally bound to circumstances demanding my attention that had nothing to do with getting ahead (or so it seemed at the time). I was forced to acknowledge long-buried family traumas and hurts that were unconsciously playing a role in my present actions. My soul knew I had to sit with these truths so I could finally heal & release them. Only then could I build a strong foundation from what remained; those authentic bits of my greater self that survived the soup. It was incredibly frustrating to wait, and rest, and trust, finally get some insight into where I was headed, then wait some more. I had definitely morphed into this new version of myself, but going with the flow meant giving myself the time to sit and strengthen my wings.
(Update: 2020 is a 4 year for the planet, so doesn’t this describe what all of us are going through while being forced to shelter-in-place?)
Now I’m moving into a 5 personal year all about Freedom, Change & Facing Fears. After this last year of unpacking, I’m traveling light and ready to soar to new heights!
What is your personal year? Are you ready to ride the wave?